| Journal Glow |
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| 10:41pm 18/09/2008 |
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mood:  anxious
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* take a picture of yourself right now.
* don't change your clothes, don't fix your hair...just take a picture.
* post that picture with NO editing.
* post these instructions with your picture
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Read 1 - Post |
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| from the kids-say-the-darndest-things dept |
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| 03:09pm 03/02/2008 |
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Maxwell has been rapidly developing verbal skills. This is pretty early as these things go. He's 20 months and already has a bigger vocabulary than I can count. He's starting to go beyond nouns and into concepts like 'different'.
But this doesn't come without false starts. When I get home from work, Max wants me to take off my jacket. Here's a typical exchange:
Max: Daddy's home! Daddy's home!
Me: Hi Max!
Max: Jack off. Daddy, jack off.
Me: Uh.
Melissa: (laughing)
Max: Daddy, jack off.
I guess Max knows Daddy needs to relax after work. I appreciate the concern, but I usually opt for a beer. |
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Read 1 - Post |
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| Mush |
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| 05:33am 12/11/2006 |
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My love for Maxwell is unlike anything I've ever felt. (hrrm, too cliche)
My love for Maxwell blasts from me in unrestrainable torrents. I want to squeeze him til he and I burst into a twinkling rain of fireworks.
That is all. |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| Take my Art, Please |
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| 06:21am 11/10/2006 |
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mood:  tired
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I need some arty motivation. Thanks ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=88.8) morleyroarly !
The first five people to respond to this post will get some form of art, by me, about them. I make no guarantees about quality or type, but I will assure that I will give it good effort and that the art will be individual to you.
The only catch, of course, is that as with most memes, if you sign up, you have to put this in your own journal as well.
I make no promises about response time. I'll try to do them in a timely fashion, but I can't guarantee inspiration will strike immediately.
Pass it around, let's get the art flowin!
(Please note: when you respond, either include or privately email me your email address and snail mail address: stevejankowski at yahoo).
News Flash: Babies are time consuming, love inducing, wiggly, squeek toys. |
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Read 5 - Post |
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| Super Max |
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| 10:42pm 17/06/2006 |
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mood:  fatherly
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Tomorrow is my first Father's day. It's already been a great weekend. Melissa's dad Harald came up for visit to meet Maxwell. We shared a nice breakfast. Maxwell napped while Melissa was out for a massage so I spent some quality time in the garage. I attached a pencil cup to my workbench, woo-woo. Later I went to Home Depot for backer board to stabilize some wobbly closet shelving. My photo stuff has needed organizing for years and now I finally have a bunch of shelves for paper, mats, and prints. I'm also going through boxes full of 15 years of crap... anyone need 10 TV coax cables? How about some rs232 cables?
Anyway, it was nice to get a project completed. Tomorrow we go to my parents for a three-way father's day; me, my dad, and my brother-in-law. My sister's kids will meet Maxwell for the first time, so it should be fun. And this will be our first big trip outside the house.
Maxwell is doing very well. He's probably 9.5 lbs by now. He's happiest from 9 to 6pm, then he gets pretty cranky. We've devised several techniques for calming him including Super Max. I hold his belly in the palm of my hand, support his head with my left, then walk around the house making jet plane sounds. It works wonders though I think it's more from bafflement than comfort. If I keep this up while he grows I'm going to be ripped. When's the next backyard boxing?
Remember to call your Dad, or send him a six-pack, or a nail gun. Dads love nail guns. |
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| My better half |
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| 07:34pm 01/06/2006 |
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In case you didn't know, Melissa also has a journal as relax_bear. She's has some recent entries about Maxwell and our recent return visit to the hospital.
(getting warm around here, it's 80 upstairs and probably higher where am I in the office) |
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| Sleep Depraved |
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| 01:52pm 31/05/2006 |
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Maxwell is fussing/crying.
Me: "Do you still have Max?"
Melissa: "No he's in the cradle."
Me: "Did you put him back?"
Melissa: "No, you did, three hours ago."
Me: "What?"
Melissa: "Can you check his diaper?"
Me: "What time is it?"
Melissa: "3:30"
Me: "Oh. I forgot I slept."
Repeat this scene every night between 3 and 4 am; welcome to my delirium. And to a lesser degree this happens while Melissa nurses; I'll curl up and moments later she's stopped feeding. What's going on, Max was hungry, why isn't he nursing ... oh, I slept for 20 minutes.
During our extended hospital time the sleep deprivation was even worse. It was an extremely stressful time and sleeping in the hospital was nigh impossible. I'd have dreams about sleeping.
But, compared to other parents, we're blessed with a sleepy baby. He'll sleep for 3-4 hours a time at night which is enough for us to get a snack and a couple REM cycles.
Maxwell is doing very very well. He has a check-up today so we'll get another weight measurement. Last time he was around 8 lbs 3 oz, so already over his birth weight. He has one clogged tear duct, so his left eye is crusty after he wakes. This should clear up in a few months.
Baby reality begins and ends at their mouth. They aren' t even aware they have arms and legs. Maxwell is showing hints that he's conscious of other things. He has more awake time than the first two weeks (two hours a day vs. one; he's no insomniac).
Gotta get ready for his check-up, ciao! |
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| Books |
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| 02:06pm 26/05/2006 |
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My post requesting book recommendations reminded me that I stopped reading SF and fantasy a while back. From 12 to 25 I read SF and fantasy exclusively. I even subscribed to Asimov's SF mag, an obscure SF mag called Aboriginal SF and an SF lit "journal". So, I was really into SF. I stuck mostly to the classics: Asimov, Clarke, Heinlein, Le Guin, Bradbury, Bear. Later I got into Stephenson, Gaiman, and Gibson. I didn't read as much on the fantasy side, but the Hickman books were really good. And Brooks and Eddings. My bookshelves were packed with books, moving was a big pain.
Then I had a literary break; I was done with SF. I think this was a side-effect of breaking up with my first girl-friend. I realized I needed to develop better connection with other people and myself. I was reading SF just for entertainment. My reading cranked around to "literature"; Paul Auster, Annie Proulx, Vonnegut, Tom Robbins. Oddly, I developed a taste for Latin writers Jorge Luis Borges, Garcia Marquez, and Isabel Allende. And Italo Calvino. Some fantastic reading in those writers (and a few yawners), I'll put together a list some day. I think I was figuring out how people/adults behave. I could tell you how the Internet worked, but not how to be an adult.
I read in this vein for many years, but the lit books were gradually supplanted with mystery novels. Back to escapism. This change coincided with the new girl-friend (and eventual wife); I was too tired at the end of the day to read anything more demanding. Plus, it didn't seem like I needed to learn any more; I managed to get married, right?
My latest interest is memoirs from mid-east and Indian writers. Check out Marjane Satrapi, Firoozeh Dumas, and Rachel Manija Brown. Marjane writes graphic novels (Persepolis being her primary work). Rachel is actually american, the only child of a pair of post-hippie parents. She spent five formative years with her parents at an Indian Ashram. The book is about that experience; it's totally whacked, fodder for decades of therapy. And hillarious too. (book title All the Fishes Come Home to Roost).
Thanks for the book recommendations. I'm still reading mysteries, so SF will probably interest me again. And maybe I'll get more from it now. I also read comics for many years and share some tastes with hindustan and fu_urns. But that's for another post ... |
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Read 1 - Post |
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| Lit me |
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| 08:24pm 23/05/2006 |
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I have a barnes n noble gift card, what should I spend it on? |
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Read 19 - Post |
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| Of boobs and sleep |
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| 05:07pm 21/05/2006 |
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mood: sleepy
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Whew. Max is one week older, one week wiser, and one week cuter. Well it's hard to judge his wisdom, but I have caught him looking right at me, then looking at Melissa when she talks.
He and Melissa are forming the breast-feeding bond; each day the nursing is easier. Mastering breast-feeding will be his first major accomplishment. It's a little difficult now because the breasts are "engorged"; they're over-full. (This is normal when the milk first comes in.) When Max first suckles he gets more than a mouthful and backs off to keep from drowning. This cycles a few times until the flow diminishes, then he can gulp away for minutes.
Max is a major sleepy-head. Some times we can't even wake him enough to feed. I'm sure he'd happily sleep 6 hours straight, but we wake him every 2-4 hours for boob bonding. In the first weeks babies must feed regularly even if they're sleeping. So far Max has been a very easy baby (I'm knocking 2x4s together). He'll sleep through any noise or activity. Rolling his basinet over our spanish tiles nets a little squirming before he goes limp again.
Max is conked out now, so I'm going to nap too. |
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| Wow |
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| 09:32am 18/05/2006 |
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Maxwell James Jankowski was born May 13 at 5:34pm, 8 pounds 20 inches.
Wow, what an experience. We ended up staying at the hospital a full seven days from start of induction to release. The induction didn't work and the other options were exhausted, so we were left with just one option; c-section. Melissa really wanted to experience a vaginal delivery, but it just wasn't happening; the induction never produced full active labor contractions. It was very difficult for her to let go of her delivery goal. We cried, held each other, and agreed it was time to start a family.
There is more to tell about the delivery, but that's for another day, if ever. I want to move on to life with Maxwell. But first, two things.
C-section birth sucks. Sure, there's benefits (it only takes 15-20 minutes), but the recovery is awful. I haven't experienced a vaginal birth, so maybe they aren't so far apart in terms of trauma and stress. But I make this point because we heard from so many women and nurses that c-section wasn't so bad. For me, it was a crappy way to birth a child. The primary difficulty was Melissa's recovery. I've had abdominal surgery so I know what Melissa was experiencing, but she also had the women plumbing to repair. And all the hormones and pitocin to deal with. In short, Melissa had less to give Maxwell than she wanted. It was very difficult at first. But, when there's medical need, I'm glad c-section is available.
But that's behind us and we're getting settled at home. Made it through our first night at home and Max is still happy and we're getting better at caring for him.
And the second thing; the staff at El Camino Labor and Maternity are fantastic. If we were to have another child, we would use El Camino again.
Ok, I think I'm done with the before-Max stuff. Next up, life with Maxwell!
Preview: Yes, they do get cuter and cuter.
And, thanks for all the notes and well-wishes, your love will carry us along. |
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Read 3 - Post |
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| It was the night before ... |
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| 08:58pm 10/05/2006 |
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... birthday and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a spouse. (ha!)
Tomorrow's the big day. Labor hasn't started on it's own, so we're going in. Not a big surprise given that bed rest precludes all the activity (walking) that promotes contractions.
Having a date for induction is pretty distracting. We have lots of time to over prepare, over plan, and over worry. But there's nothing really left to do, so we're watching hockey (go Sharks). So 20 years from now, when my son asks what we were doing the night before he was born, I can recount all the hits and goals. It'll be such a nice bonding moment.
Melissa is in good spirits, tired, but too ... everything, to sleep at the moment.
Had lunch with a co-worker that's a recent dad. He related some of his birth stories and they helped settle my mind about the hospital experience. And we talked about some of the first months baby stuff; sleeping, feeding, caring. We have similar attitudes. The talk was perfect timing for Anxiety Boy (me). Also talked with an old high school friend about her induction experience. I think our doula will be invaluable in working with Melissa and the hospital staff.
Kiki will be with us as well, and Melissa's mom will be coming in the afternoon. All of us, and you, will pour our support and love into Melissa and the new baby J. |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| Going on a date |
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| 10:32am 09/05/2006 |
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Melissa, baby and I have a date at the delivery ward for Thursday morning. Assuming they have a room available, we will start that morning and baby J will join us soon.
Melissa's blood pressure hasn't gone down so the doctor feels it's safer to deliver the baby sooner rather than later. Melissa will be induced Thursday and we'll take it from there. I'll post more later.
I have a dentist appt now for a toothache. Gotta get that taken care of so I can focus. |
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Read 4 - Post |
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| Holding Steady |
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| 10:51pm 07/05/2006 |
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If you're reading this on Monday, call Melissa, she's bored. See previous entry.
Melissa had a bit of a headache today which is one of the worry signs that go along with high blood pressure. We called the doc at one point, but he said don't worry about it unless the head ache is really bad. So, we're more relaxed now.
Melissa is handling the confinement very well. But boy is she eating alot. At breakfast, no sooner had I nibbled my canadian bacon, than her plate was clean, licked clean. She's a monster.
I painted her toe nails today and did all the dishes. The Sharks hockey game kept us entertained tonight.
Baby J is somewhat less feisty, but he's still shadow boxing with with Melissa's belly button (more of a belly puddle at this point).
I get lots of advice from parents these days. The younger couples roll their eyes and say "Your life will never be the same, it's over." The older couples say "You'll be fine, don't worry about it." Clearly, memory loss begins when the kids move out.
I just started iTunes so I'd have some music to report |
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| Perk me up |
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| 02:27pm 07/05/2006 |
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Melissa's getting pretty bored with this bed rest thing. If you've got a few minutes, she'd love to hear from you. ( deets ) |
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| Melissa's Moving Belly |
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| 10:52pm 06/05/2006 |
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We had a busy day planned; hospital tour from 11-12 (which turned out to be from 10-11, oops) and baby CPR class from 12:30 to 3:30. Fortunately, Kiki was joining us for both, so her timely phone call got me to the hospital just in time to be late. The "tour" turned out to be virtual; a slide show in the hospital cafeteria. There were nearly a 100 people for the tour - ergo, lots of babies this spring. We stopped by the delivery ward and checked out an empty room; they're nice and big.
On the way home I stopped by whole foods to get some Raspberry Leaf tea; supposed to be a good labor promoter. I thought that was the union's job. Whatever. I toured the cheese island and fondled my cheese fetish. Found one Irish cheddar made with Porter, yum. And all kinds of other moldorous mysteries to explore. It's settled, we're going to throw a wine and cheese party this summer.
Of course I dallied too long and was late for the CPR class. Again, just Kiki and I. She wants to baby sit so thought the CPR class would be good.
On the way home from that, I saw a sign for an open studio and let the impulse take me. Talked with Ann a glass blower for a bit. I was very curious about the glass blowing process. She works out of a glass blowing co-op in San Jose. It's the only way for small glass artists to work since the glass must be kept molten 24/7. She had a couple really beautiful glass vases. They teach classes at the co-op, I'm intrigued.
Finally, on orders of the landlord, to the store for caramel and home for lunch and ice cream. For dinner, pan seared steaks (iron!), beer pan sauce, asparagas and herb toast. Then some quality time with the couch and Howl's Moving Castle. Good flick, I liked it.
Melissa napped outside on the swing for bit while I was out. It was such a nice day. She's supposed to lie on her left side only, but she get uncomfortable after 30 minutes. Lots of repositioning, but she's doing well. I think the prospect of birth has kept her spirits up. But she'll miss being pregnant. Women are so complicated. :-) |
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| The nine month lease |
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| 12:18am 06/05/2006 |
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Mom and proto-baby J are re-negotiating the lease agreement, but it looks like an amicable parting is unavoidable ...
The baby has "dropped" as they say, so Melissa can breathe easier now. She's super tired so spends most of the time lying down. Which is fine because the doc ordered best rest after an elevated blood pressure reading. No other indications, probably just stress from her body reorganizing itself for the big event. For those of the medical bent; she's 80% effaced and a wee bit dilated. This is a good start, but labor could still be days away.
We have a stack of movies ready so will spend the weekend sacked out. I have a few things left on my prep list, but we're in pretty good shape. I'm nervous, but trying to keep myself distracted. |
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Read 3 - Post |
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| Quack! |
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| 03:53pm 22/04/2006 |
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Busy day so far:
Melissa woke me up and we had breakfast (cinnamon french toast).
Julie, our doula, came over for a visit to go over the birth plan and talk about birth and baby stuff. I get more confidence about this whole thing the more classes and people I talk to.
Watched the Spring parade in Mountain View. Kiki and Sanjay were dancing and drumming with Sambao, the brazilian dance group. They were great and the parade was just long enough. Also great were the gay men's square dancing club. And the arcane automobile club. Mountain View really needs a park in the center of downtown. Every town should have one. The park is at one end, behind the theatre. "If I were city planner ..."
Babies and kids galore for the parade. I alternately watch them with fascination while dreading the responsibility and stress. But it's all good. I practice just-in-time learning (Melissa *really* loves that about me), so I'm not that worried.
Melissa is napping now. Later, I'm gonna make pierogi and kielbasa (Mysliwska which is a smoked hunter's sausage, smoked so the hunter's could pack them without fear of spoilage). We got these from a polish grocery in Chicago. Kielbasa is flavored with juniper; explains my liking for gin. |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| The Cycle |
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| 04:54pm 07/04/2006 |
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I'm writing from the basement of my Aunt and Uncle Rooney's place in Mt Prospect IL (near Chicago). My Dad's mom passed away last week so were here for the memorial. She had just turned 90, but had been declining for years from dementia. The service was nice and I got to see some of the midwest relatives.
I was not very close with Grandma J, there being the Rocky Mountains and the mid-west between us. But she sent me books every xmas and birthday when I was a kid. See, she worked in the Marshall Fields book dept. for decades so had great access to books. I read the complete Hardy Boy series and many many others besides. My sister's boy is reading the Hardy Boy books now and my Baby J will get them next. Grandma J cooked up a storm for our visits and had a great laugh.
On the same day, Millie, a dear family friend, passed away after four years fighting cancer. I haven't known a more wonderful person; caring, happy, generous. I'll always remember her great shock of red hair and infectious laugh.
So I've been a little distracted recently. But these events give me perspective on the coming Baby J. I want him to have as much family contact as possible. My parents are just an hour away and Melissa's are three hours. I predict many car trips in the future. And my Aunt Joanne and Grandma D are coming out from Florida in August to see Baby J.
Back to Chicago, my Aunt and Uncle live in a Polish inhabitted area, enough to have multiple Polish delis. Yum! Pierogies! Sausage! Crullers! I stocked up and will make the airline passengers suffer to smell the kilbasa all the way home.
Peace and love. |
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